Important Point #2: Winelists do not have to be rubbish

Something that really annoys me is the misplacement of apostrophes. You’ve all seen the corner store with the “breakfast roll’s, sweet’s, drink’s, newspaper’s” sign. Without sounding like a total spanner I’ve been redesigning some winelists recently, and I’ve got to say the standard of English on a lot of them is atrocious, making me feel a lot more comfortable with said “sweet’s” .

Example: “A classic blend of Grenache, Syrah and Mourvedre gives this full-bodied rich red with ripe cassis flavoured fruits, well structured and a long smooth finish.” It doesn’t make any sense. It smacks of a lazy sales rep who couldn’t care less and has no interest in providing a clearly designed, well written wine list that anyone bar he/she can decipher. A winelist should hope to provide you with (1) the name of the wine, (2) the price, and (3) a brief but well formulated tasting note that’ll give you a rough idea of what you’re going to order. Just writing “Gavi – €23.99″ is the equivalent of just writing “petrol – €17,999″ on a car listing.

Aside from containing a sentence that is readable, it would also help if it told you something about the wine: “The Merlot grape is widely planted in northern Italy. Soft, attractive fruit and good balance.” Who cares how much Merlot is planted in northern Italy? You’re just out for the night and having a quick bite to eat. It just looks like padding because whoever has sold that wine to this restaurant doesn’t even know what the wine tastes like, and can’t tell you anything more about the fruit than it’s attractive. Well, I’ve yet to come across a fruit that wasn’t attractively flavoured, so at least I know now that it’s going to taste like one of them.

 

When a good deal is not a good deal

So one of our discount German stores have just announced their latest offers, and they include a range of “wines”. I’ve decided to question the word or term “wine” in this instance. Here’s the maths:

• Sale Price              €3.16
• Ex VAT                  €2.60
• Minus Excise       €0.14

Within that 14c there is a budgeted cost for

1. “Wine”, or the liquid within
2. Dry goods: labels, corks, glass, boxes
3. International Shipping and internal freight

At what point do we just decide to throw away everything that is unique about wine, and just start making alcoholic grape juice? Do we really want to continue this race to the bottom? Will we decide to stop when all recognizable quality is finally eradicated from all wines? When all quality producers are out of business? When all choice and uniqueness has been eradicated in favour of lower-priced, soul-less wines?

Most of the trade here has worked hard the last 30 or so years educating and helping improve the Irish palate, so it is difficult to see a 21st century version of 70s Yugoslavian wine re-appearing.

 

Tuscany: like Salem, circa 1692

In what seems to be an un-ending barrage of wine confiscations in Tuscany, officials have stepped in and confiscated wine made under the San Gimignano Rosso DOC. This comes on top of the ongoing dispute over Brunello di Montalcino and the threatened US embargo, and the recent confiscations of Vino Nobile di Montepulciano.

Althought the amount of San Gimignano confiscated is small at only 30hl (4,000 bottles), it was originally reported in the Italian press as 60,000hl of Vernaccia di San Gimignano – a slightly different proposition. This has spooked some importers, with reports of German agents now looking for certificates of authenticity to accompany their orders. The tabloid-style reporting coupled with the ongoing political battles in Montalcino could really threaten to destable this key region’s exports.

I can guarantee you however that our Tenuta San Giorgio ‘Ugolforte‘ is 100% Sangiovese Grosso. And delicious.

 

How to flip a winery. Or 8.

The big story that broke yesterday was that Constellation are offloading some of their American wine estates, using the proceeds of the sales to repay debts. What’s interesting is that they’re offloading some of the better wineries in California – Gary Farrell, Geyser Peak and Buena Vista for example – and what’s kind of ridiculous is that they bought these estates only 7 months ago.

Is it just me or does this sound like Constellation have begun flipping wineries now? I think you have to question what level of damage it can do to a solid producer to have three different sets of management in one year, all with differing ideas on driving profit margin through “adapting output”…

Think of these wineries like David Beckham – he’s doing fine at the academy as a youngster (privately owned) until he’s promoted to the senior team at Man Utd (Allied Domecq). Talent is obvious, but so is marketability and he gradually becomes a brand as opposed to a unique product. Real Madrid (Constellation) come calling and buy an over-priced brand, not the product. Realise very quickly that he’s not as fit as he used to be and offload him to LA Galaxy (Ascentia Wine Estates) who are happy to trade on his former standing. Gradually what made him unique is forgotten, and his haricuts/sarongs/tattoos become more important.

OK so a little simplified, and possibly a bit presumptive of Ascentia as they are a brand new company. It must be all the soccer on tv…